How to stop saying um, uh, and like

Why we fill the silence

A filler word appears in the tiny gap between finishing one thought and starting the next. Your brain needs a moment, and instead of letting the moment be silent, your mouth fills it with "um." The irony is that the silence you are avoiding would sound calmer and more in control than the filler ever does. So the whole skill is learning to be comfortable with a short pause.

Replace the filler with a pause

You cannot delete filler words by trying to say nothing. You replace them with something better: a pause. When you feel an "um" coming, close your mouth and let a beat of silence sit there instead. It feels long to you and sounds confident to everyone else. This one swap does more than any other trick, because it targets the exact moment the filler would appear.

Drills that work

• Record and count. Film yourself speaking for two minutes and count the fillers. You cannot fix what you cannot hear, and the count drops fast once you are aware of it.
• Slow down. Most filler comes from rushing. When you speak a little slower, your brain keeps up with your mouth and the gaps shrink.
• Know your opening cold. Fillers cluster at the start when nerves peak. If your first thirty seconds are automatic, you sail past the worst of it.
• Ask a friend to tap. Have someone tap the table every time you say a filler. It feels annoying and it works, because it makes the habit impossible to ignore.
• Finish your sentences. Fillers often bridge two half-thoughts. Practice landing one sentence fully before starting the next.

Keep it in perspective

Do not aim for a perfect, filler-free speech. Aim to break the habit of filling every gap, so that a pause feels normal. A speaker who pauses with purpose sounds more sure than one who never stops talking. For the wider set of delivery habits, read our public speaking tips, and see how pauses fit into a full talk in presentation skills.

Common questions